JUNKING THE JUNK

An exciting and fun activity for all armchair Earth First!ers

Bound over to keep the peace? Wanting a low profile while you attend another round of appearances in the Magistrates Courts? Or just plain shit scared to participate in direct action yet? Well, there is another way to fuck the system from the comfort of your own home (if you’ve got one, and it’s comfortable) which is extremely cheap (it’s free) and without risk. And it’s so simple.

To explain; ‘Business’ in this country, as we all know, is an all-consuming, heartless, soulless, spiritless, money-grabbing greed machine. And we all think it needs to be brought down. To its knees. As quickly as possible.

In their haste to encourage the consumer culture, many companies deliver to our doors, adverts for their products or catalogues full of adverts for their products. To prompt response they will often enclose a pre-printed reply paid envelope with either a freepost address or business reply service. A-ha. Got 'em.

 

It is the norm for most recipients of such unsolicited paper material to dispose of them by way of the rubbish bin - hopefully a recycled waste paper one. No more. It shall now be the duty of every Earth First!er or otherwise concerned individual to return them to their place of origin.

Scrawl some appropriate message to all of these paper wasters - relevant to the degree of absurdity to the potential product - but not the inside. This ensures the envelope is opened, having arrived cunningly disguised as a genuine response to their mail-shot. This not only wastes more of the companies’ time, but also gives the poor sod employed to open these things a little light relief during an otherwise tedious working day.

These things are almost never printed on recycled paper, so even if you can’t nail a particular company for a specific case of environmental abuse, the old ‘Paper is Murder’ jibe is forever relevant.

Remember - it costs us nothing. It costs them every time you pop one back in the box. And why not attach the pre-paid envelope to, er, a slightly heavier object (like a brick) and cost 'em even more. Ha. Ha.

But it is not enough to simply wait for these things to drop onto the doormat. No. You should actively seek them out and send them off in their hundreds.

‘Liberate’ all the photo-developing envelopes from Post Offices, credit and charge card applications from shops and railway stations and pop into your local WH Smiths and free them all from the magazines on display.

There’s thousands of them out there. Waiting. Go get 'em Earth Brothers and Sisters...

- Maidstone EF!

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